Oy Vey (Update)

So we finally moved into my dad's house, which I feel like I have to explain everything in detail to you because on some level, I DO care what people think about me. lol. We moved into his house number one; because he thinks he's going to lose his house (even though he has never missed a mortgage payment in his life, and he isn't in danger of being laid off from his job. lol.)  and number two; because it would be nice to bulk up our savings and investment accounts. Plus, I miss having a back yard. haha. I. Hate. Picking. Up. Dog. Poop. Lmao. As a mom, I'm already on enough poop patrol as it is. Hah.

So that's the biggest thing that's new in my life right now. The other thing is that I'm going to start Cosmetology school this year (don't even bother asking me when, that's a detail that's not even close to being confirmed. lol.) I really really want to go to Toni & Guy, but I would settle for Paul Mitchell. If you know me, you know I love doing hair, and I love doing makeup and making people feel good about themselves. So basically, I'm on a mommy-improvement mission this year. I started going to the gym, and I'm trying to dedicate a little more time to myself for like, doing my hair and stuff. Definitely something I've really put on the back burner since being a mom. Not because I've "let myself go" I really hate when people say that, I just feel that my son is so much more important to me to just stick him in his pack and play for an hour to do my hair and makeup to go to the grocery store. lol. Now that he's older and takes good, lengthy naps and can play by himself, I don't feel guilty spending time on me.

Mom's Don't Have Time. (UPDATE)

So it's been about 3 months since my last post, needless to say I've been busy. December and January are my busiest times of the year. There are just too many birthdays and holidays for me to even think straight! lol. Anyways. Troy had his first birthday this past weekend! It was so exciting and depressing all at the same time.

I definitely didn't want to accept the fact that my baby is growing up. I'm one of those moms that disagree with people when they say stuff like "I can't wait until ______" I always say, "I wish he would stay my little baby forever." lol. I never want him to grow up and hit all the milestones that kids do. I feel like if he does, I'll get old and die and I won't be able to see him grow anymore :/ lol.

It's odd viewing death as something I'm dreading not because I want to continue to live, but because I want to continue to see my SON live. Being a mom definitely changes you, hopefully for the best, sometimes others aren't blessed that way I guess. HERE'S TO THE ONES THAT CHANGE FOR THE BETTER :)

A little mom side-note: My friend just recently turned 21, and obviously she's pretty excited about this just like anyone would be. But the part that kind of irritated me was that she randomly texts me on a Wednesday and asks if I want to go out for drinks. Now I'm not 21, so I was like ... wtf? BUT what really pissed me off is that she KNOWS I'm a mom. It made me feel like ... What the hell kind of mom does she think I am if she thinks I can just drop everything and go drinking on a Wednesday?? I don't even WISH I had that kind of luxury. I HAVE a life, his name is Troy and I would trade anything anytime to spend one second with him. Period.

Signs.

I just love accidentally (and purposely) funny yard and street signs. The other day we were at World Market, just browsing, and we stumbled across this cute little coffee table book about funny signs around the world. It was HILARIOUS. I really want it. Then, just now on Facebook, I was looking through status shuffle (which is what I do when I want to laugh a little) and I saw one that said;

"Tresspassing is illegal and so is murder, you make your choice and I'll make mine ... who knows, I might just be a lawbreaker too."

LOVE IT!

I just love me some good old fashion justice. I just don't think there is enough of it in todays world. Pitty. It only makes me want to raise my son with a backbone and the knowledge to know the difference between whats right and what's wrong. That's something most people just don't have anymore, a good supply of backbone and morals. I'll post a link to the book I was talking about above ... maybe another blog entirely about funny signs :)

This is the book :) (also available @ World Market)

I Didn't Know Lesbians Had Thier Own Hair Cut.

So, I've been wanting to go to Cosmetology school for a while now, one of the many things I've been wanting to go to school for actually, and I started cutting my own hair MONTHS ago. I'm pretty good with bangs, but this week I decided to branch out into the rest of my hair ... it didn't end bad, but it didn't end good.

I've also been contemplating cutting my hair short. I have really thick curly hair, so having it long is just a pain in the ass ... and a recipe for a migrane that last 24 hours a day. I just went for it last night, and went and got it cut reeeeeally short. I like it. I think it looks really cute. That really is all that matters to me. I already knew before I got it cut that RJ (my boyfriend) would hate it. What I DIDN'T know, was that he was going to berate me. lol.

Apparently, I have what looks to be like a "Lesbian" hair cut and it looks like (despite the fact that it's about 3in. long in the back) someone took buzzers to the back of my head. Why would I do this the day beofre our family photos?! Obviously, because I'm crazy. lol.

For those of you women who are always complainging because your "man" doesn't have an opinion about anything you like ... enjoy it. PLEASE. I wish RJ would just say "I like it" or "I don't like it." lol. I don't need his opinion. I just need him for ego-boosting purposes. Just like when he asks me everyday after he comes home from the gym if he "looks bigger" ... I always say yes. Even though, it's impossible for me to tell if he has gained any muscle.

Also, sadly, you cannot teach this technique to men. You have to just hope and pray that the one you pick already knows it .... another reason why I think it's a pretty good idea to date a little older. Older men always know how to just shut up and agree.

This is my new hair cut ....



Karma, Karma, Karma

I don't know if I've ever said this before on my blod or not, but I don't believe in God. I'm more of a "If it sounds wrong, it probably is" type. Also, I've never been one to follow rules or take most of them seriously for that matter. Anyways, I'm a strong believer in Karma. This is a little story about my goofball boyfriend, and how he thinks he has good Karma from performing this "Good Deed".

Every night, when we lay down to sleep, we talk for a few minutes about whatever pops into our minds at the time. It's always the most random conversation you could ever have with someone, which makes them all the more special. Anyways, that night, he had gotten back his test results for the Illinois Department of Corrections (to which he applied and tested for a few months ago) and he got a pretty good score, though he thinks it's not good enough to get the job. We were laying in bed and I was saying how he has bad Karma because he's such a grump, especially during the holidays when you're supposed to be cheerful, and that if he doesn't get the job it's because he's such a turd sometimes. He then turns to me and starts off our late night debate about Karma.

RJ "I have good Karma. You know, I helped a homeless man today thank-you-very-much!"

Me: "Oh really? YOU helped a homeless man? How? By NOT giving him money?"

RJ: "Well, no, but that would be helping him because then he wouldn't have any money to spend on DRUGS."

Me: "Or food."

RJ "Whatever. Anyways, no, I saw him standing on the side of the road and I though to myself 'that man needs a shave'"

Me: ...... "WHAT?! That is NOT helping a homeless man. Not only do you have bad Karma, but you also have NO idea what Karma even is." lol.

Sometimes, he just cracks me up. It's like he's in his own little world, and things only exist if he wants them too. Haha. Anyways, that's my little funny story for tonight ... at least so far.

Starving.

My whole life I've been  about 113lbs. I've never worn a medium, let alone a large ... and then I got pregnant. This is my story of being skinny, getting fat and trying to fight the urge to give into an eating disorder while I was trying to get back to the old me.

I gained 71 pounds during my pregnancy. I got stretch marks on my stomach, my butt, my boobs, my things .. even my legs. And I promise you, I ate like a fitness-crazed vegan. No soda, no fried food, nothing raw, nothing with sugar, nothing greasy, nothing artificial ... the works. I walked my dogs 3 times a day, and toward the end of my pregnancy I started walking 2 miles a day on top of that. In saying that, I hope you can understand how hard it was for me to accept getting fat. (And please don't say "well, you were pregnant" that doesn't mean squat to me.)

After the birth of my son, I figured since I was naturally skinny, the weight would just fall right off of me. It didn't. It's 8 months after the fact and I still have about 13 pounds left to lose. It's literally painful for me to look at myself in the mirror these days. I look at the little gut I still have and the stretch marks (that have thankfully almost completely faded away) and want to puke. I want to do anything to get this weight off. I hardly eat anymore. I hate saying this out loud, but it's the truth. I'll maybe eat a granola bar and drink some Orange Juice and that's it. It's awful. I'm ashamed of myself for letting it get to this, but I almost can't help it. Almost.

Thankfully I have the worlds most amazing boyfriend. He noticed that I hadn't been going through as many groceries as I used to and he asked me what was going on. I told him in the most normal way a person could speak, that, "I don't really eat anymore". True to form, he acted like it wasn't something that needed to be fixed, just something he was going to make happen. We went to the store and he picked me out a bunch of healthy snacks. "Start small" he said. "You need to get your metabolism back. Eat little snacks often throughout the day. Don't worry about the weight. I'll watch Troy so you can start going to the gym too" (RJ spends about 2 hours a day at the gym ... EVERY day.)

It's been going on for so long now, that I've learned to block out the feeling of being hungry. I forget to eat. I actually forget that I'm hungry. Sometimes I'll be eating and all of the sudden whatever I'm eating will make me nauseous. No matter what it is, or how much I like it. And I'll stop eating it because I cannot physically make myself eat it without throwing up. It's like my mind tells my body that if I keep going, I'll stay fat forever. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. Even with help, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I used to think that girls with eating disorders were stupid. That they had no excuse. I thought it was the most retarded disease I'd ever heard of ... until I became Anorexic. This is just the beginning for me. It's hard to look at food the same, but I'm trying. I'm really trying to beat this. I posted this because I feel like eating disorders aren't taken seriously enough and I want to change that.



Winchester Bibeau, Feline Extraordinaire (Minus Acrobatics)

In my world, animals are just as important as people, and I'm one of the biggest suckers around for stray animals/animals I think need my tender loving care. In saying that, it should not be suprising for you to know that we have 3 cats and two dogs (and hopefully someday a chinchilla, a nice fish tank, another dog-possibly a doberman ... and ... who knows!) Anyways we live in an apartment - second floor to be exact and in the winter we open the patio door to lower the electric bill, which allows the animals to roam freely. The cats always jump up on the stucco wall and look out upon the world, which I think is cute the way they look (Aristocats ... ADORABLE) BUT it also scares me because they're my four legged babies and I worry they won't realize that they can't jump down without seriously injuring themselves. lol.

That's where Winchester (the fatest of my cats, and by far the laziest)  comes in. He is always pushing the limits; limits to the amount of food he can ingest really. So the other night, I was brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed and RJ (my boyfriend) comes running in the bathroom yelling "OMG come look at Winnie!" So I run out there thinking he's going to be doing something stupid that I've seen a million times, but RJ hasn't because he works a lot when I look out onto the patio ... and Winchester isn't there. HE WAS OVER THE RAILING ON THE ROOF TO THE FIRST FLOOR!! First I was worried, so I got his food bowl and shook it to encourage him to come back up (works everytime, he never says no to food.) and he couldn't get back up!! Then I REALLY start to panic, thankfully RJ said he could go downstairs and climb up the brick wall and get him down.

Long story short, I had a panic attack. My poor Winchester was in a sticky situation, meowing to me in despiration and I couldn't do anything about it.

Worst. Feeling. Ever.