Signs.

I just love accidentally (and purposely) funny yard and street signs. The other day we were at World Market, just browsing, and we stumbled across this cute little coffee table book about funny signs around the world. It was HILARIOUS. I really want it. Then, just now on Facebook, I was looking through status shuffle (which is what I do when I want to laugh a little) and I saw one that said;

"Tresspassing is illegal and so is murder, you make your choice and I'll make mine ... who knows, I might just be a lawbreaker too."

LOVE IT!

I just love me some good old fashion justice. I just don't think there is enough of it in todays world. Pitty. It only makes me want to raise my son with a backbone and the knowledge to know the difference between whats right and what's wrong. That's something most people just don't have anymore, a good supply of backbone and morals. I'll post a link to the book I was talking about above ... maybe another blog entirely about funny signs :)

This is the book :) (also available @ World Market)

I Didn't Know Lesbians Had Thier Own Hair Cut.

So, I've been wanting to go to Cosmetology school for a while now, one of the many things I've been wanting to go to school for actually, and I started cutting my own hair MONTHS ago. I'm pretty good with bangs, but this week I decided to branch out into the rest of my hair ... it didn't end bad, but it didn't end good.

I've also been contemplating cutting my hair short. I have really thick curly hair, so having it long is just a pain in the ass ... and a recipe for a migrane that last 24 hours a day. I just went for it last night, and went and got it cut reeeeeally short. I like it. I think it looks really cute. That really is all that matters to me. I already knew before I got it cut that RJ (my boyfriend) would hate it. What I DIDN'T know, was that he was going to berate me. lol.

Apparently, I have what looks to be like a "Lesbian" hair cut and it looks like (despite the fact that it's about 3in. long in the back) someone took buzzers to the back of my head. Why would I do this the day beofre our family photos?! Obviously, because I'm crazy. lol.

For those of you women who are always complainging because your "man" doesn't have an opinion about anything you like ... enjoy it. PLEASE. I wish RJ would just say "I like it" or "I don't like it." lol. I don't need his opinion. I just need him for ego-boosting purposes. Just like when he asks me everyday after he comes home from the gym if he "looks bigger" ... I always say yes. Even though, it's impossible for me to tell if he has gained any muscle.

Also, sadly, you cannot teach this technique to men. You have to just hope and pray that the one you pick already knows it .... another reason why I think it's a pretty good idea to date a little older. Older men always know how to just shut up and agree.

This is my new hair cut ....



Karma, Karma, Karma

I don't know if I've ever said this before on my blod or not, but I don't believe in God. I'm more of a "If it sounds wrong, it probably is" type. Also, I've never been one to follow rules or take most of them seriously for that matter. Anyways, I'm a strong believer in Karma. This is a little story about my goofball boyfriend, and how he thinks he has good Karma from performing this "Good Deed".

Every night, when we lay down to sleep, we talk for a few minutes about whatever pops into our minds at the time. It's always the most random conversation you could ever have with someone, which makes them all the more special. Anyways, that night, he had gotten back his test results for the Illinois Department of Corrections (to which he applied and tested for a few months ago) and he got a pretty good score, though he thinks it's not good enough to get the job. We were laying in bed and I was saying how he has bad Karma because he's such a grump, especially during the holidays when you're supposed to be cheerful, and that if he doesn't get the job it's because he's such a turd sometimes. He then turns to me and starts off our late night debate about Karma.

RJ "I have good Karma. You know, I helped a homeless man today thank-you-very-much!"

Me: "Oh really? YOU helped a homeless man? How? By NOT giving him money?"

RJ: "Well, no, but that would be helping him because then he wouldn't have any money to spend on DRUGS."

Me: "Or food."

RJ "Whatever. Anyways, no, I saw him standing on the side of the road and I though to myself 'that man needs a shave'"

Me: ...... "WHAT?! That is NOT helping a homeless man. Not only do you have bad Karma, but you also have NO idea what Karma even is." lol.

Sometimes, he just cracks me up. It's like he's in his own little world, and things only exist if he wants them too. Haha. Anyways, that's my little funny story for tonight ... at least so far.

Starving.

My whole life I've been  about 113lbs. I've never worn a medium, let alone a large ... and then I got pregnant. This is my story of being skinny, getting fat and trying to fight the urge to give into an eating disorder while I was trying to get back to the old me.

I gained 71 pounds during my pregnancy. I got stretch marks on my stomach, my butt, my boobs, my things .. even my legs. And I promise you, I ate like a fitness-crazed vegan. No soda, no fried food, nothing raw, nothing with sugar, nothing greasy, nothing artificial ... the works. I walked my dogs 3 times a day, and toward the end of my pregnancy I started walking 2 miles a day on top of that. In saying that, I hope you can understand how hard it was for me to accept getting fat. (And please don't say "well, you were pregnant" that doesn't mean squat to me.)

After the birth of my son, I figured since I was naturally skinny, the weight would just fall right off of me. It didn't. It's 8 months after the fact and I still have about 13 pounds left to lose. It's literally painful for me to look at myself in the mirror these days. I look at the little gut I still have and the stretch marks (that have thankfully almost completely faded away) and want to puke. I want to do anything to get this weight off. I hardly eat anymore. I hate saying this out loud, but it's the truth. I'll maybe eat a granola bar and drink some Orange Juice and that's it. It's awful. I'm ashamed of myself for letting it get to this, but I almost can't help it. Almost.

Thankfully I have the worlds most amazing boyfriend. He noticed that I hadn't been going through as many groceries as I used to and he asked me what was going on. I told him in the most normal way a person could speak, that, "I don't really eat anymore". True to form, he acted like it wasn't something that needed to be fixed, just something he was going to make happen. We went to the store and he picked me out a bunch of healthy snacks. "Start small" he said. "You need to get your metabolism back. Eat little snacks often throughout the day. Don't worry about the weight. I'll watch Troy so you can start going to the gym too" (RJ spends about 2 hours a day at the gym ... EVERY day.)

It's been going on for so long now, that I've learned to block out the feeling of being hungry. I forget to eat. I actually forget that I'm hungry. Sometimes I'll be eating and all of the sudden whatever I'm eating will make me nauseous. No matter what it is, or how much I like it. And I'll stop eating it because I cannot physically make myself eat it without throwing up. It's like my mind tells my body that if I keep going, I'll stay fat forever. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. Even with help, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I used to think that girls with eating disorders were stupid. That they had no excuse. I thought it was the most retarded disease I'd ever heard of ... until I became Anorexic. This is just the beginning for me. It's hard to look at food the same, but I'm trying. I'm really trying to beat this. I posted this because I feel like eating disorders aren't taken seriously enough and I want to change that.



Winchester Bibeau, Feline Extraordinaire (Minus Acrobatics)

In my world, animals are just as important as people, and I'm one of the biggest suckers around for stray animals/animals I think need my tender loving care. In saying that, it should not be suprising for you to know that we have 3 cats and two dogs (and hopefully someday a chinchilla, a nice fish tank, another dog-possibly a doberman ... and ... who knows!) Anyways we live in an apartment - second floor to be exact and in the winter we open the patio door to lower the electric bill, which allows the animals to roam freely. The cats always jump up on the stucco wall and look out upon the world, which I think is cute the way they look (Aristocats ... ADORABLE) BUT it also scares me because they're my four legged babies and I worry they won't realize that they can't jump down without seriously injuring themselves. lol.

That's where Winchester (the fatest of my cats, and by far the laziest)  comes in. He is always pushing the limits; limits to the amount of food he can ingest really. So the other night, I was brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed and RJ (my boyfriend) comes running in the bathroom yelling "OMG come look at Winnie!" So I run out there thinking he's going to be doing something stupid that I've seen a million times, but RJ hasn't because he works a lot when I look out onto the patio ... and Winchester isn't there. HE WAS OVER THE RAILING ON THE ROOF TO THE FIRST FLOOR!! First I was worried, so I got his food bowl and shook it to encourage him to come back up (works everytime, he never says no to food.) and he couldn't get back up!! Then I REALLY start to panic, thankfully RJ said he could go downstairs and climb up the brick wall and get him down.

Long story short, I had a panic attack. My poor Winchester was in a sticky situation, meowing to me in despiration and I couldn't do anything about it.

Worst. Feeling. Ever.

Halloween 2010 - Do People Not Celebrate Anymore?

This was my son's first Halloween, and being the festive person I am, I have been REALLY looking forward to dressing him up and pushing him around in his stroller trying to get as much candy as I possible can.

P.S. I feell like I must tell you that I am a huge candy freak, so Halloween is one of my all time favorite holidays. Having a baby to take candy from this year has been something I've really been looking forward to.

Anyways, so we start trick-or-treating, and after about 15 houses or so I noticed that there weren't very many people handing out candy. WHAT THE HELL?! People didn't even follow the cardinal rule of the pumpkin!! People had decorations and lights on, but no freaking candy! I mean, I know times are tough, but you can get butt loads of candy at the dollar store. My holiday-hating boyfriend said that "Halloween is a dying holiday" ... I seriously hope he's wrong. Can you imagine 20 years from now, talking to your grandkids about Halloween and them having NO idea what you're talking about?

This Halloween was by far the lamest Halloween ever.

Sore Loser

I am a sore loser ... mostly on the inside, I try to be a good person and not show it and all. What I'm really interested to know is why is it socially unacceptable to be a sore loser? Are there people that like losing? I know I sure as hell don't like losing, I'm in it to win it. Whatever that may be, I want to win it. Does that make me a bad person? I thought that it made me a fighter, someone who doesn't give up. Someone who will perservere. Where did the "never say die" attitude become a flaw?

I say that it isn't, and I don't give a hoot  who says otherwise. I think being a sore loser means that the odds of you being homeless, broke, or that person at your job who's been there for years without a promotion or a raise are preeeetty slim. Be a sore loser. Fight. Don't give up, and definitely don't let other people try and convince you that being a sore loser is a flaw. Being okay with losing is the real flaw.

Lists, Knitting & Crazy Old Ladies

For those of you who didn't already guess it, I love making lists. I can't do very many things without one. My lists keep me on track and sane. I've been adding things to my "Things to do Before I Die" list for a few years now, and since I'm only 20 and I don't PLAN on dying any time soon, I don't get too amped up about completeing things on my list. I stick to one thing at a time, and don't set any particular goal for it's completion. The most recent thing I've crossed off is #91. Learn To Knit. Let me tell you about that experience.

First of all, I took a class at JoAnn's Craft Store (it's like $35 for supplies and everything) and I got exactly $35 worth of knitting lessons and supplies. The teacher was this super old lady (expected) who rambled on and on about the history of knitting and how long people have been knitting, how long she's been knitting, why she knits, how she knits, what her favorite thing about knitting was. Yeah. Hopefully you have the same face on that I did the whole time she was talking, if not, you won't like me at all. Finally she gets to the first step (casting on.) which I already knew how to do since i'm extremely stubborn and I wanted to teach myself how to knit (don't. because that's as far as I got on my own.). Then she blabs about all these different stitches in knitting and what they're typically used for, mind you, she hasn't taught me how to do a basic knit stitch yet so I have NO idea what she's talking about. Then after about a half an hour she teaches me how to knit. Excuse my arrogance, but I got it on the first try and obviously we moved on. Then she starts telling me about her LARP-ing.

....

....

Yeah, no, that was serious. She talked about that for so long that she "lost track of time" and only had a few minutes to show me how to cast off. Now, I know how to do a basic knit stitch (and thats it), and cast off ... but have no idea what to do with the last loop. Lesson learned. Don't take a cheap class and expect great results. Now I have to pay another $35 to take Knitting 201.

The good news is, I can knit scarves. I'm almost done with my first one, and when I am, I'll post a picture for you :) (that's this new silver lining thing I'm trying out, it's proving to be a lot harder than I thought)

Books to Read

1. Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang, Bang by Chelsea Handler
2. The Encyclopedia of Arts & Crafts by Martha Stewart
3. Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern
4. The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown
5. Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
6. The Encyclopedia of Sewing & Fabric Crafts by Martha Stewart
7. Full Frontal Fashion by Rebecca Budiq
8. Vampire Stories by Sir Arthur Canon Doyle
9. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith
10. Love, Lust and Faking It by Jenny McCarthy
11. You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore
12. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
13. One for the Money by Janet Evanovich
14. Two for the Dough by Janet Evanovich
15. Three to get Deadly by Janet Evanovich
16. My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler
17. Four to Score by Janet Evanovich
18. Seven Up by Janet Evanovich
19. Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
20. Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich
21. Hard Eight by Janet Evanovich
22. Hot Six by Janet Evanovich
23. Ten Big Ones by Janet Evanovich
24. Eleven on Top by Janet Evanovich
25. To The Nines by Janet Evanovich
26. Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich
27. Can You Keep A Secret? by Sophie Kinsella
28. High Five by Janet Evanovich
29. The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
30. I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max
31. Shopaholic Takes Manhattan by Sophie Kinsella
32. Fearless Fourteen by Janet Evanovich
33. The Funny Thing Is ... by Ellen DeGeneres
34. Shopaholic Ties the Knot by Sophie Kinsella
35. Shopahilic and Sister by Sophie Kinsella
36. Finger Lickin' Fifteen by Janet Evanovich

Things To Do Before I Die

Things to do before I die:

1. Skydive

2. Swim with Dolphins

3. Attend at least one major sporting event. (Olympics, Super Bowl, World Series, etc.)

4. Learn another language

5. See the 7 wonders

6. Go Ice Skating

7. Be an extra in a movie

8. Learn to Ballroom Dance.

9. Find a love that never ends

10. Save a life

11. Help a homeless man.

12. Be on a jury

13. Drink a beer at Oktoberfest in Munich

14. Drive across America, coast to coast

15. Learn to juggle

16. Find a job I love

17. Overcome my fear of needles

18. Scubadive in the Great Barrier Reef

19. Take a hot air balloon ride

20. Deep Sea Fish

21. See the Statue of Liberty

22. Name a star after me

23. Learn to bartend

24. Run a marathon

25. Visit all 7 continents (1/7)

26. Swim with Sharks

27. Learn to surf

28. Climb an active volcano

29. Vacation somewhere exotic

30. Photograph and endagered species in it's natural habitat

31. Stand at the North and South pole.

32. Smoke a Cuban cigar in Cuba

33. Do stand-up comedy

34. Ride a Gondola in Venice

35. Visit the Louvre

36. Learn to cook.

37. Climb a pyramid

38. Walk the Great Wall of China

39. Go on an African Safari

40. Watch a Space Shuttle launch

41. Bunjee jump

42. Visit Taj Mahl

43. Pierce my nose.

44. Own a business, or be a partner

45. Eat a meal good enough to call my last

46. See at least 1 game at a major league baseball park

47. Fly on a private plane

48. Go sailing

49. Be the change I want to see in the world

50. Pay off my credit cards

51. Kiss the love of my life on a beautiful beach.

52. Visit all 50 states (6/50)

53. Go on a cruise

54. Find a 4-Leaf Clover

55. Visit the Stone Henge

56. Educate myself

57. Be able to do the splits and a back hand spring

58. Visit a no-name island.

59. Hug someone who really needs it and appreciates it.

60. Marry a man I can call my best friend and soul mate. 

61. Get a tattoo

62. Get a degree

63. Eat at a 5-Star restaraunt

64. See the Northern Lights

65. Read a book in a day

66. Adopt a pet

67. Vote for a politician I researched, followed and believed in.

68. Go paintballing

69. Sing karaoke - sober

70. Protest for something I believe in

71. Research my family tree

72. Crowd surf at a rock concert

73. Gamble in Las Vegas

74. Try Yoga

75. Take a self-defense course

76. Attend Mardi Gras

77. Own a telescope, and use it frequently

78. Make homemade ice cream

79. Go caroling on christmas

80. Get CPR certified

81. Go hand-gliding

82. Visit the Mall of America.

83. Spend a whole day in bed (24 hours)

84. Participate in a food-eating contest.

85. Take a picture with someone famous.

86. Learn to drive stick

87. Whale Watch

88. Inspire myself to do something amazing

89. Visit the AquaDom
90. Do the World's Largest Crossword puzzle
91. Learn to knit
92. Complete a Scrapbook
93. Own a house
94. Beat RJ at Scene it? Simpson's Edition
95. Plant a tree.
96. Make a quilt.

97. Make a worthy donation to charity.
98. Donate blood.
99. Throw a suprise party.
100. Meet Ellen Degeneres.
101. Meet Anna Wintour.
102. Meet Martha Stewart.
103. Laugh until I cry.
104. Leave a $100 dollar tip at Denny's.
105. Attend a Hollywood Movie Premiere.
106. See John Capparulo live.

* Currently working on #96. (I'll let you know how that goes.)

Can You Even Read Anymore?

I miss reading a good book. Nobody reads anymore. It's depressing. I've been contemplating reading 2 books lately. Chelsea Handler's new book "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" and a book by Justin Halpern "Shit My Dad Says". Whenever I stop procrastinating and buy one, I'll be sure to let you know how it is.

Other than that, Harry Potter is still my favorite book series, ever. Twilight can suck it.

Where does the time go?

I have a 6 month old son, Troy, who is the absolute love of my life. I'm lucky enough to get to stay home with him, all day. Sometimes, I just watch him. Just watch him experience life. He LOVES it. He just loves everything about life. Water bottles, blue yarn, the sound of a duck. It alls makes him ecstatic! Literally laugh out loud happy. When does that go away? When in life does that happiness fade away? When do we stop loving everything and taking it for what it is? I mean, if I could keep him in this stage of his life forever, I would, not to keep him as a baby forever so that he could never move out of the house or anything ... but so that he never has to experience what the harshness of the real world is like. So that he never has to lose that light in him that makes him appreciate a water bottle. Seeing the light in a child is the best thing in the world. I would hate to watch that slowly fade from the life I took 9 1/2 months to make.